Afters Ice Cream

I’m all over anything ice cream in OC. I’m trying to scope out the competition for my one-day-some-day-maybe ice cream joint the in the future/in my dreams, haha. The Yelp reviews were numerous. Personal friends gave singing endorsements. One night, my coworker who I’ll call Fishing Zebra Man, had a rough shift at work. So I suggested we go for some ice cream to cheer him up, killing 2 birds with one stone. I needed someone to go here with me! Afters merrys 2 beloved American sweets, donuts and ice cream into something they call “milky buns.” Sounds like an ingenious idea! Why didn’t anyone think of this before?

I had to stare at this crap for 30 minutes while I waited in line. Let’s just say the place doesn’t win points for a sharp storefront and professional presentation. It also didn’t help being surrounded by swarms of tweeters. God, I felt SO OLD!

Finally! So you get your choice of ice cream and glazed or unglazed bun.

Fishing Zebra Man chose cookie monster ice cream with unglazed bun.

I was so put off by the blue coloring and it really wasn’t till we were almost done eating that I realized blue is for Cookie Monster. Sometimes I’m so frickin’ slow, it’s a wonder how I get paid to do what I do.

I got salted caramel and added walnuts with a glazed milky bun

The hoards of people don’t seem to mind the ghetto-ness of this place.

OK, so call me an ice cream snob, but this crap is soooooo overrated. There are 3 things I look for in good ice cream.

1. Interesting/creative flavors – I don’t want to be able to go to local grocer’s freezer and pick up the same damn flavors you are charging me $3-5 a scoop for.

2. Sweetness – if I need to drink water after a few bites of your ice cream, I don’t want to eat it.

3. Texture – icy ice cream? FAIL. I want my ice cream to be ULTRA smooth. I don’t want to perceive any palatable ice crystals on my tongue. By the science of ice cream making, liquid nitrogen ice cream is the best way to make the smoothest ice cream. Rolling your ice cream with rock salt is probably the worst. Then there’s everything in between.

So Afters does ok with their ice cream menu, creative enough. But they suck at the rest. Too damn sweet, too melty, not smooth and creamy. The whole milky bun thing is just a gimmick. Their buns are soggy and taste like store bought donuts without the holes. I’m getting kinda angry writing this entry because this places attracts giant lines and it has 930 Yelp reviews. The majority of people who go here are probably teeny boppers and poor college kids so what the heck do they know? So frickin’ ridiculous. If you want better ice cream, come to my house and I’ll serve you my home made ice cream for FREE* and if you need a milky bun, I’ll run to Yum Yum and get donuts there.

*This only applies to my friends. If you are a stranger, please don’t come to my house. I will call the police.